i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
