Christians are straight up FREAKS
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
