Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
