dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
