Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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