Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You work out of a Hotel?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
