Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
