Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think I died a long time ago.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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