winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
