This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
