Christians are straight up FREAKS
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
