now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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