I'll bet she douches with gravy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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