just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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