Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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