i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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