batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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