so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
