either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
