If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't turn off my feet"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
