I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
