Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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