why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
