So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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