Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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