tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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