Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
