Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
