do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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