if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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