SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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