Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
