There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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