You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
