there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
