Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
