I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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