Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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