he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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