I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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