How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
