you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
