i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
