If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
