Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
