I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
