White coat. Heels.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
