Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
