I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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