I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
