Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
