I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
