She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
