I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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