super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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