i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
