I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
