great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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